Where I Am

Since the divorce last year, I have continued to push into God and rely on Him to keep me going. And He has been faithful. The accountability and encouragement of the 20-something guys group I’m a part of at my church has been awesome! This is not the sort of group that you see once, maybe twice, a week. No, these guys want something more. They truly want to be a part of a community, and so we hang out often. I talk to them at least three times a week outside of church events. What’s more, I am now the facilitator in our regular meetings. I say facilitator because each of us contributes to the group without need of someone to do much more than be there. I love that group.

Round about last January I got to thinking about going back to school. I prayed about it, but didn’t have a clear direction to go. I thought maybe I’d move up to Tulsa and try to start back at Oral Roberts (where I went for my first two years of undergrad work) in the Fall. I even made a trip up there. I spent a day and a half looking for a job – something to get my foot in the door. I don’t think I’ve ever applied to as many places in such a short amount of time as I did that weekend. I tried following up with the positions I applied for, but no one so much as called me back. Ok, so that door was closed.

Almost immediately, I thought that I might see the possibilities of going to Europe and studying there. I brought that idea up to my guys’ group and every single one of them urged me to not pursue it (that night there happened to be a dozen or so of us). We discussed it back and forth for a few good hours, but not one even thought I should look into it. They were concerned about me uprooting myself from the community I was in after such a devastating thing in my life. In the end I couldn’t bring myself to agree with their concerns, but I did put my trust in their judgement. Another door was closed.

A couple of months later I applied to Dallas Seminary, thinking that I would be a part of my community and be able to continue my education. Within a week of submitting my application, I received a rejection letter based on my recent divorce. I was surprised. Since I had gone through such a long separation prior to the divorce, I thought they would at least hear my story out before making a decision. Yet one more door was closed.

In the middle of the Summer I was talking with a friend who asked me if I had gone back to Criswell to see what possibilities there might be for me there. I hadn’t. I was honestly afraid of being rejected from my alma mater and I did not want that to happen. However, I did relent and went up there one sunny day after work. I talked to an admissions counselor who was extremely excited to see me. I thought it must’ve been slow during the Summer, but it turns out this guy is excited about, quite literally, EVERYTHING. Anyway, we got to talking about my time there and about some of the events in my recent past. We prayed about it and he encouraged me to apply (and he even waived the application fee). In sharp contrast to the previous attempts at schooling, I was almost immediately accepted! I am now convinced that God shut certain doors to make sure I went where He wanted me to go! I feel a little like cattle being herded by a rancher, but I’m strangely alright with that.

Other than the pursuit of my education, God has been working in my life and providing for me in other dramatic ways. I got a new car and moved out of my parents house and into an apartment this past March. Work situations have been clearing up in ways that I couldn’t have imagined. I’m a lot less stressed out over things and am happy with where I am. I can honestly say that I am not the same man I was a couple years ago. I miss my wife more than words could ever say, but God is moving me to places I could never have dreamed!

MSE

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